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January 23 Chris Martin, Bleeding Burgers and Mashed YeastIts hanging pretty well in Londinium at the momento. We've been doing the regular London thing, eating in overpriced restaurants, chilling with Chris Coldplay Martin and rewriting hymn history.
Greg is hot. I fancy him a lot.
I'm starting an addiction to sundbeds.
Greg and I are going to Israel.
James and Katie came to see us, it was very nicelet. A funny day indeed it was, thank u guys for coming!
Mummys coming to visist on wednesday, wahey!
Brighton for the weekend....
AND FOTOS 2MORRO. CANT WAIT TO SEE THEM.
Everytime i see her cry, I ask for reasons why. Everytime i see her cry, all she can do is lie.....
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January 18 First Impressions of Earth, Hickory Sauce and The River NileChris Allen sent me an email a while ago. It told tales of uni life, such as you know you've been at uni too long when looking out the window is a form of entertainment, you know the take-out menus by heart and you think highlighters are the coolest things on earth. Sundays are a figment of the worlds imagination, you'll do most of your learning outside lectures and you can know nothing and ace a test and know everything and fail. And within the first term here you'll regress back to being a toddler, wearing all your clothes at once when it comes to braving the outside (and not caring cos everyones doing the same), crossing roads without looking, taking plenty of naps and pining for toasted cheese sandwiches.
But do you know the main thing i've learnt? Never to expect everyday amenities like water or heating to be availble. Because you'll only be dissappointed.
When your shower does produce water be satisfied, when the water is a few degrees warmer than freezing (allowing you to actually stand under it) be happy, and when you can leave a shower to a room where the central heating has actually kicked in - be fucking estatic.
I'm so glad that i pay 1722 great british pounds a term for a room i don't sleep in and now can't even shower in. It's probably the most expensive storage space in West London.
Time keeps on slippin' slippin' slippin'...into the future
xxxxxxx January 13 Keith Ledger, Very Fat Legs and Ridiculous Facial Hair...Good evening from the pit of sarlak. Watch Terminator on CH5? Homeboys and homegirls will be cumming their panties to know that i have now seen an Arnie film other than Jingle All The Way. Pretty darn good too.
Back at uni. Back to the crazy life.
Greg and I have just realised what pricks we are by looking at our Google images search history, some of the key searches are featured in the title. See what you find...
Well hope you chicks are all well. I'm excellent. Top Notch.
Love, Ketchup and Mayonnaise xxxxxxxx January 07 I Hope You Will Take This Small Gift.....As A Token Of Our Appreciation For All That You do.
What a night of epic proportions! Best night out in a very very long time. But then getting pissed on the colleges budget was never going to be the biggest let down!
But lets re-rewind (selecta) to earlier in the week where some equally hot happenings hiphophappened.
My future was decided by the little gem that is The Wedding Crashers at Ori's flat on wednesday night. Ok so the film isn't great but the principle is amazing, and katie and i cant wait to be 25 and live the dream! Owen Wilson definitely melted my heart, which the lads didnt get toooo sick of eharing about. Theyre just jealous of his lovely nose. We ate a fantastic amount of brand-name chocolate, got to love those post chrsitmas sale bins!
On thursday i was in demand. Coffee at 140 with meat and the runner from st marthas, then a chilled drink at the hotel, then i went to to eds who seems to have made the coolest bunch of uni mates anyone could make (very looking forward to meeting some of them in particular!) and then huw was a gentlemen and took me out to dinner. Kerbs may have cancelled on the originial slutton curry club plans but that didnt mean i would be kept away from my mushroom dopiaza! Then, naturally we ended up at Ori's for some politics and cookies.
But yesterday was the real don of days. Started well from the outset. Lizzie, Darryl and I went to Cafe Rouge for a general catch up. Very emotional, lots of beaming grins, and lots of giggles about Darryls promiscuity. He had to have a nap after being with us, we were definitely too much for him. Seeing Lizzie was amazing, and the fun will continue when we commit acts of fraud as the Italian ambasaddors daughters (Darryl's the bodyguard) in LDN in the near future....
Mummy took me for desserts at work after, got to catch up with everyone and hear of the amazing fundraising for menningitis that was going on there. Don't think we've forgotten your perfectness daniel!
We then got suited and booted for what turned into a legend of an eve. I was always going to enjoy myself cos i thought (knew) i looked hot, but it was fanstastic. We witnessed possibly the worst vote of thanks that has ever been delivered, a harp solo that hypnpotised the whole cathedral, and everyone got to see me fuck up shaking hands with the important man and getting my certificates and MULTIPLE awards. God i sound very self-satisfied. But last night i really was. Jack Yearwood looked absolutely amazing but Steve stole the show. We stood around looking hot, drinking lots of free wine, i was touched up by Rodger who also told me i looked stunning. Andy did a good job of protecting me, but the pervy teacher moment was always going to happen. Then we hit the bars, not after a detour on the motorway. We were so ruined. But some fantastic heart to hearts were had. Yes we were all ruined and talking nonsense, but i feel a lot closer to everyone after last night. God we were fucked. After nearly puking in katies car i came home and thought it would be practical to make up cheese and crakcers. Twice. Goodness.
If you've read til here then you are a king/queen and you know you're hot!
Take a Chance On Me xxxxxxx fuuuduckdedpff my face award winninhg sdtudenht eating cheese and crackrs,u knoes it! everyone said i as ho and they aoint wrong so hryyyyyyy. i am actyakku so fuckred. i narly pked in kts carf! i love cheweze abd cracker xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx January 03 Gangster Trippin'Hanging out in Brave the Boy Wonda's automobile with Darryl this afternoon made me feel like it was so last year. A couple of hours is enough to bring you right back down to ghetto earth. Whether watching videos of a girl enjoying a bottle (Kinga style) or hearing pimping stories of life back in spain its enough to make you want to just cry with laughter. Brave's hair (yes brave has hair now! and it 's long and slicked back and very yes please) looks amazing. Darryl was almost perfectly turned out in the white tracksuit top but the stained sleeve let him down. But the fact we were waiting outside McDonalds to have sex with strangers was probably the highlight of my time spent with them. Yep, they may have moved on in some respects. But some things never change.
And no i won't film it you dirty slappers.
Free Champagne, Cheese and Get In The F*****g TaxiIm fooking tired, have a purple tongue and can remember some pretty classic moments.....there must have been a girls night out without guitars! And last night there certainly was. Yes we did grind to Gasolina and My Humps. No we didn't let our guitars gently weep over Coldplay and James Blunt.
We were a group of hotties last night, in the main it was Katie, Wilson and I but we also had the cameo of LouLou once we left spoons. Always a good guest star to have when she recognises eric (captain rich) to have once lived on her and kts road, even if he did only have one tooth in the old days, and he then buys us champagne! Kt did well to drink so much of it. It was yuuuuuumy. In fact all the drinks last night were horrifically torturing. I will happily never look at a VK or a cranberry ever again!
Strobe lighting is only wonderous when it plunges the ugly guy grinding next to you into darkness every split second...... when you're trying to walk down the stairs in new high heels carrying ure drink its just a hazzard! So don't do it. Strobe lighting is for amateurs. And think of the poor epileptics.
All the guys out last night were fugly. What ever happened to being spoilt for choice! Ok so we were never really spolit for choice in guildford, but there was usually a handful of guys who there would be potential to show off about. NOT LAST NIGHT! Any encounter would have to be written up as charity work last night. Again not strictly true as the ever so godly formation that is Jack Yearwood was surpisingly out (when jack gets angry...people die!) and there was the green-jumpered man.......
OMG THE GREEN-JUMPERED MAN
All of the gorgeousness that was absent in the guys in Spoons, Voodoo and Drink accumulated in to one perfect man. There is no words to describe how hot this man was. He was about 25, wore a green jumper with a white shirt underneath, didn't look like the type of guy you'd ever see in a club and actually didn't look like a smug fit bastard. He looked like a decent guy. Everytime he looked at me i thought i'd died. Ahhhh, the green jumpered man. James stevenson - if ure reading this he looked like a southern version of you ;)
But the aim of the night wasn't to pull so the absence of fit blokes wasn't a problem, in fact it helped to achieve the aim of the night - to have a right proper laugh. Here are some of the highlights:
So there you have it. An amazing night.
Next time you're cooking carrots, what you want to do is grate some fresh nutmeg over em.................sisters are doing it for themselves xxxxxxxxxxxx
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